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This is an older post from back in the day on my other blog: notquitesupermom.blogspot.com

Firstly I would like to apologise for my lack of blogging.

I went on HOLIDAY.

Abroad.

On a plane.

With 3 kids and Mr G.

I have yet to fully recover from The Experience.

The preparations went well. I was very very excited. I booked the holiday in January in a flush of Post Christmas Cheer to "give us something to look forward to."

I know.

I am stupid.

Six months later, nearly time for The Holiday and I am a bundle of excitement.

As a Supermom in training I packed our bags a week before the holiday so I was well prepared and organised.

Unfortunately I had to keep unpacking them as none of us had anything to wear and it was becoming a bit of an issue.

We flew on a "low budget no frills airline."

They charge for baggage. I thought ONE hold baggage and 4 hand baggages would suffice.

I know.

Stoooopid.

ANYWAY: I had arranged for my mother to drive us to the airport. V. organised and efficient.

It was roughly 20 minutes before she was due to pick us up that things started to go horribly wrong.

That day had so far been spent fielding the MILLIONS of phone calls because we were going away for TWO WEEKS.

I was on the phone when Alfie came up to me crying and pulling at my leg.

Alfie: " Me put something up nose."
NotQuiteSupermom: "Hold on darling, Mommy's on the phone right now..just give me a minute."
Alfie: "Nose. Plasticine. Me."
NotQuiteSupermom: (to caller)..."I'll have to call you back after the holiday." *hang up* (To Alfie) "WHAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT?? You know you should never put anything up your nose, or in your ears...or up your bottom? You havent? Have you? Truth?

I laid him down on the bed and got out the torch.

Yep.

Big lump of plasticine. Right up there.

Shit.

Sadly my "First Aid for Parents" book DOES NOT HAVE A CHAPTER ABOUT OBJECTS BEING STUFFED IN NASAL CAVITIES.

So, without the help from my bible, I look for the tweezers. Very calmly. Reiterating the point to Alfie that under NO CIRCUMSTANCES he should sniff. (Note: have you ever tried to teach a small child the difference between sniff and blow??) Sniff= easy. Blow= Very Very Difficult.

Cant find the sodding tweezers. Anywhere.

Less than 1 Hr before we NEED to check in.

Vaguely recall reading that POTENTIALLY it might not be great for a child to travel ON A PLANE with plasticine up his nose.

Bugger.

Thinking about using the scissors. Its the only "pinch grip" type thing I have...unless I raid Mr G's tool box in the garage. But I'm not entirely sure that a monkey wrench will fit up Alfies very small nasal passage.

Oh God.

Flash of inspiration.

Either this will work or it will go HORRIBLY WRONG and a trip to A&E will be required.

NotQuiteSupermom: "Alfie sweetie. Bend down and touch your toes."
Alfie: "Huh?"
NotQuiteSupermom: " Lets pretend that you have to...ooohh..I dont know. (NOT GO ON HOLIDAY BECAUSE YOU HAVE SOMETHING STUCK UP YOUR NOSE)....blow something really hard OUT your nose AND not sniff it back?? Do you think if you bend over you can do that for Mommy? Superman does that all the time."
Alfie: "Ok."


We all held our breath.

To blow..or to sniff? That is the question.

I held my breath.

Alfie (fortunately) didnt hold his.

He gave a HUGE Superman styleee blow.


With a quite astounding "POP" the plasticine pinged out his nose and onto the carpet.

Our silent worship of the blue plasticine ball was rudely interrupted by the doorbell.

Mother: (v. cheerful) "All ready to go?"
NotQuiteSupermom: "Yes. Absolutely. Let's go."


Although...with hindsight..had I known what was to come..I think my answer would have been very different.

Yep.

It gets worse.

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“When the raindrops keep tumbling,
Remember,
you’re the one who can fill the world with sunshine.”
Snow White
One of my rays of sunshine just turned, in her words: “A whole hand plus one.”
X Mr G and I decided to take her for a Princess makeover at the Disney Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique in Harrods, London. It was a long shot that she was going to get with the programme, as what she lacks in princess style tendencies, she more than makes up for in Light Saber and Nerf gun capabilities. She is, most certainly, the Disney Princess for a new generation. There is no waiting around for a handsome prince (she will just accost them and make them her boyfriend at breaktime in the playground), no beautiful dress (it lasts about 5 minutes on..then it is too itchy and annoying) and her hair is the epitome of Tangled.
Despite using more leave in conditioner, hair masks and wide tooth combs than Rapunzel ever did.


Still. We thought it would be an experience.
I had the whole “have I done enough as a parent” middle class debate with myself before we went. This was mainly due to the fact that there are four tiers of packages available, ranging from the “Royal” Experience at £1000, to the “Courtyard” Experience at £100 per child. Clearly the Feudalist system is still alive and kicking in Great Britannia. I very nearly convinced myself that I needed to pay the extra £300 to make the jump from the “Crown” Experience at £200 to the “Castle” Experience at £500. Then I decided the last thing I need in my new home is more Disney plastic crap everywhere. Seriously. I would only end up paying some “serf” to come round and clean it up twice a week. And you just can’t get the “serfs” these days.
All “jesting” aside…it was a really good experience. This is what the male contingent of our party thought:
And this is what the Princess thought when she was having her hair done:

That, dear readers, is her expression of shock.
She was very pleased with the results though. Probably not as pleased as her wonderful “Fairy Godmother in training” was that the hair style the Princess chose covered up the massive chunk of hair that X Mr G chopped out as it was so Tangled. It’s the lumpy bit sticking out in the photo at the back.

But the amazing “Fairy Godmother in training” did EXACTLY what was described on the tin, with a charm and efficiency I wish I had every day when getting my Princess ready for school. She really was the Fairy Godmother I wish could appear every morning. This is the result:


For all my slightly sarky comments, my daughter was made to feel like a Princess for the entire experience. If you arrive earlier your child gets given a pager to carry (great way to make them feel special) and you WILL end up browsing the adjacent Disney store beforehand. (FYI you can buy all the Disney plastic crap in there for less than the upgrade price.) Every member of staff in the Disney store stopped and spoke to her, as did the staff in the Harrods toy department after. She didn’t quite get the Harrods doorman with the umbrella opening the door on our way out, but that was possibly because some glamorous blonde “real princess” was making her way IN and he was otherwise occupied.
For the record, the next day I took her horseriding. She fell off. Into a MASSIVE puddle of cold wet mud.
So it just shows.
One day you can be sat on your throne like a princess, and the next day lying down in a puddle of mud and horse poo wondering what on earth just happened.
The Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique at Harrods can be booked at http://www.disneyboutiqueatharrods.com/select-children.aspx
Prices range from the £1000 Royal Experience, to the £100 Courtyard Experience. We felt the best value option was the £200 Crown Package. We ended up spending approximately one hour in the experience, and three hours in Harrods overall by visiting the Disney Store beforehand (where your child will be made a fuss of due to the pager) and the Harrods toy department. If you book well in advance you may be lucky enough to combine the trip with the Harrods Christmas Grotto experience, which comes at an additional price of £10 per child. You can sign up for the Harrods Reward Account which will give you notification of tickets and booking for the Christmas Grotto, plus a refund of your total booking fee to spend in store. 



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I'm not going to lie to you.

I didn't really love Venice. 

As it's such a popular place to visit, I feel I have to explain/ justify myself somewhat- or I might just come off looking like I'm a total misery*
* although this has been said of me in the past.

If you have small kids and a buggy- then forget going to Venice.  For now. No matter what time of year you go, you will be huffing and puffing your way up and down staircases, folding the buggy/ pushchair approximately every 3 minutes, or lifting it up a set of stairs. You will be trying to stop your toddler plopping into the canals the moment you release them from the buggy and having stop/ start nightmares if you are trying to walk anywhere. Get ready to be apologising for ramming your buggy into strangers heels and forget the idea of actually getting in anywhere. You won't fit.

Venice is also a maze. I managed to lose my 15year old just walking back to our Airbnb from the Coop. Luckily he had the sense to walk back to where we last were, but one wrong labyrinthine turn in a crowd could mean a few heart stopping moments.

Down one of these passageways, someone also tried to steal from my backpack. I'm not a twat, so all that was in there were a pack of value waterproof plasters, a Venice guide (the book kind- not a real one) and a travel cagoule someone once lent me and I accidentally kept. Due to my incredible peripheral vision, mastered after years of parenting, I was able to catch them at it. Which was awkward. And rather unsettling.

I'm really sorry to break it to you, but if you want a decent relaxing break,  then Venice isn't for you. Not unless you go without the kids- and even then I'm dubious how much you will like it.

Now, I can't judge what it's like in the summer as we went in December. I can only envisage what a complete and utter nightmare it might be during busy times.  Whatever I feel about Venice now, having gone in off season, is probably only a fraction of how I may have felt if I was unlucky enough to go in the summer.

On the positive side: your photos will look amazing. Venice is highly photogenic. Only issue is, when you come to upload your pictures, you might not remember where they were taken, as all of Venice looks the same. I found Venice a bit odd. At some points I felt like I was in a Disney set, but with fewer people in fancy dress and not looking so happy to be there.

We went for four days. Which was total overkill. Venice isn't very large. Hence why most people go on a day trip. We arrived and checked in to our very lovely old Fishermans cottage Airbnb by 11am. By 12.30 we had already been through the Rialto Market & fish market, Rialto bridge and Piazza San Marco. The girls didn't really love the fish market (hence the holding noses in pic)- so we did move on swiftly.



We were a bit stuck then, as I'd actually planned to do all those things another day.

Prior to visiting we had purchased transport tickets for the waterbus (vaporetto) from VeneziaUnica so we ended up just jumping on a water bus and heading out to the Venice Lido mainly just to sit down for a bit. The trip back was nice, as we got to stay on the water bus most of the way up the Grand Canal, until our stop at San Stae. It's a bit of a headache finding waterbus stops with a machine that allows you to change your printed confirmation into actual useable travelcards, so I had to ask Google after visiting 4 stops. Our nearest one was the Rialto Bridge stop. Find your nearest one here

You might also like to bookmark this handy vaporetto route map.

Transport in Venice can be a little confusing, so let's try and clear that up. To transfer from Venice Marco Polo airport, you are going to either need to get a waterbus (and this has to be the Alilaguna line at an extra price to your waterbus and normal bus pass-15euros one way) or take the normal roadway bus (about 20 mins- again at additional transfer cost on top of your pass of 8 euros one way) or by private water taxi.

On arrival at Marco Polo, we took a prebooked water taxi which cost about 110euros for the six of us to our nearest stop at San Stae, and then opted for the land bus to return to the airport. The land bus is pretty simple, you want to take the public water bus to Piazzale Roma and then the bus station is right in front of you. You will need bus 5 or 35. The buses to Treviso airport are also here.


So, once you have got there, and worked out how to leave...what are you actually going to do with the kids while you are there? I have put some ideas below, but you may want to check out my other post 10 things to do in Venice with children.

You could let them loose to chase the pigeons in San Marco Piazza. It's illegal to feed the pigeons, and please don't be like some parents we saw who seemed to have zero problem letting their children kick the birds.  We could see which kids were likely to turn out badly.



You could also make a number of ice cream and dessert stops.  I would definitely recommend at least using these as bribery to keep children moving.




I highly recommend the frittella con crema which are available at bakeries, or the tiramisu. If you don't go to restaurants and you instead grab slices of pizza, toasts (cheese & ham toasties), ciabattas or chichetti (provided you can squeeze into a bar) then you will be looking at between 4-10 euros per person for snacks. Wine is cheaper than soft drinks and about half the price of orange juice- which seems rather civilised. A few minutes walk from the S. Marcuola vaporetto stop is a wine shop selling wine on tap in plastic litre bottles from 1.90 euro a litre. Which might be worth knowing. 

One of the highlights of the trip for us, was a tour with the remarkably knowledgeable Rita Sartori who pretty much rescued Venice in my eyes. We took a two hour family tour with Rita meeting us near our accommodation and ending the tour near the Teatro La Fenice where I had booked a theatre tour immediately following. I like to keep us on our toes. 

Rita's tour was perfect for the children, showing them how Venice is kept clean, stopping off at a lovely chocolate shop and she had some other hidden gems up her sleeve to keep everyone happy. I won't spoil it for you. She was particularly helpful as my daughter got sick during our trip, so a two minute trip to the Pharmacy with Rita and we had all the medicine we needed. I wouldn't hesitate to recommend you book her, maybe on the first day, rather than the last as we did! After speaking with her and listening to her talk about the mysteries of Venice with such passion, I began to look at the city in a very different light. 

Please check out my other posts with recommendations of things to do and where to eat in Venice. In future, should I revisit, I would contemplate staying outside of Venice, and travelling in. Would 100% recommend going in December- the weather was beautiful and the streets were peaceful


How we did it: There were six of us travelling- we flew with Ryanair from Bristol (as it's the only Ryanair flight to Marco Polo and we wanted to take a private water taxi to arrive in Venice) Flights cost £26 pp rtn. The Fishermans cottage Airbnb http://www.cortediavolo.com cost £519 for 3 nights. Private Water taxi transfer was 110 euros, and 3 day travel passes cost 32 euros for the children on a rolling Venice card, and 46 euros for an adult. Both these prices included one way airport transfer by bus. We mainly ate in and shopped at the Rialto Market or Coop. Check out my post Snacking in Venice for recommendations of where to eat.



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“I do love the beginning of the summer hols,’ said Julian. They always seem to stretch out ahead for ages and ages.”
― Enid Blyton, Five Go Off in a Caravan
If the prospect of those endlessly stretching summer holidays strikes fear deep in your core, then you may have just found your plaid comfort blanket. I had to start this post with a Blyton quote, pretty much because no mention of Studland Bay and the Purbeck region can escape the Enid Blyton references. So, if you fancy going all Blytonesque Pinterest village vintage – then this is the place. All you really need is a picnic and a bucket and spade. Hmm…and probably some towels, sunscreen, change of clothes, bunting, gingham picnic blanket and wicker basket, thermos, wooden rowing boat and a crate of Ginger Beer. And a dog. To really be authentic.
Rather than wait until the summer holidays, I would suggest you make like a local, and visit out of season- before the beachgoing hordes begin their descent and mean you will have to park miles away from the beach. Potentially you may even have to park on a verge and carry all your Blyton props for quite a long way.
May, September and October are your best bets for good parking and sunshine, with November and December having just about every car park space free. That’s because this time of year is better suited to generating that “healthy glow” after being slighty battered by the wind and partially frozen during a brisk walk. This sounds a bit rubbish but comes with the plus side of making you look like a really outdoorsy, adventurous, sporty family on your Instagram feed. Especially if one, or more of you, wear a North Face jacket- or anything by Berghaus.
Whenever my friends and their children come down to visit from London, this is where I take them.

Year round.

I’m a pretty optimistic person so I have been known to join the August throngs- but there was a Cider and Beer festival on at the Bankes Arms during that time (August 11th-14th) so that eventually made up for sitting in traffic for hours. If you are smart you will get a bike like everybody else, park up further away from Sandbanks on Shore Rd and cycle over, crossing by the chain ferry.
Even going on the Sandbanks chain ferry to Studland is an adventure. I still get excited by it now and refuse to go the road way (past Wareham) whenever I visit. Just getting out the car while it is parked in a queue on the road seems incredibly daring. Getting out while on the ferry to climb upstairs and get some fresh air evokes memories of school trips to France and in a few short moments you can actually begin to start to think you are on holiday. It’s a pretty cool view.
Plus the chain ferry can give some respite from whatever carnage is potentially occurring in the back of the car by offering a distraction. Distractions are the key to parenting in my book. If all seems peaceful in the back, then sit back and enjoy the view (or nip out for an ice cream/ 20 calming mindful breaths- whatever floats your boat.) Do note that it can be a bit pressed for space on the chain ferry, and it doesn’t take very long. If you need to open the car doors wide to wrestle a small child from their car seat to go admire the view, or you are pretty useless with the car seat and strapping your child in, you might be best to make up some reason why children can’t get out and content yourself with the knowledge that nothing lasts forever and about 5 minutes drive after the toll booth you will reach….The Beach.
My “beach of choice” (as there are a few) is Knoll Beach. They all have really great National Trust names, like South Beach, Shell Bay and the cleverly named Middle Beach.
The picture below is from Knoll Beach. In May. Call me a beach snob- but I always hire a beach hut if I can. The National Trust hire some of them daily- ranging from £12-£30 depending on the time of year. Essentially what you get for that is a wooden shed, with two deckchairs in it and a dustpan and brush. Far more importantly though, the kids get the adventure of finding it and you get the feeling of superiority over other beach users who don’t have the luxury of their own dustpan and brush for the day.

You also get the added bonus of a sand dune to either protect you from the howling wind, or turn your beach hut sand garden into a mini San Tropez (albeit with deckchairs and not sun loungers.)

The National Trust also have an office at this beach, and can provide treasure hunts, those funny sticky pom pom bugs on a ribbon, membership and all kinds of things to keep the children busy. 

It means you have to get up from your deckchair- but such are the sacrifices us parents have to make. You could probably sell it to yourself with the fact you can get a nice hot chocolate up at the cafe, or go have a wee. 

There is also a shop, which sells all the stuff you really need at the beach, but won’t remember to bring with you next time. If you want to do your own dinner down at the beach and you remembered to pack all your Blyton props, then there is a designated BBQ area. Really, if you want to be all modern day Blyton then you will have to shop at Waitrose for the coals and have a kettle BBQ. Like I  did, just to impress my friends and to post on Instagram. 

Once you tire of the beach- the good news is- you still have loads of options. Depending on time of year I would recommend (summertime) visiting The Pig-On the Beach, about 5 minutes drive on from Knoll Beach. There are amazing grounds, where your small people can be free to roam, and an outside bar and wood fired oven so you don’t need to.

Off peak times, and especially during winter months- head back over the chain ferry to The Sandbanks hotel. Here they have a lovely warm bar, but not only that, there’s the added bonus of a beachfront playground, where you can sit with one eye on the beautiful beach and coastline- and the other on your kids attempting to blast themselves into oblivion on the see-saw.
Down the road you will find Sandbanks Beach, with a huge play park and a crazy golf course, plus obviously- a beach…again. There is a cafe serving fish and chips or if you are feeling really posh (and brave taking children) then venture over to the new Rick Stein restaurant where you can merrily dispose of your holiday budget  and the kids pocket money while enjoying a lovely view. If you are a bit cheap (like me) then I would forgo that idea and instead head back up Sandbanks Road to TJ’s fish and chip shop. You can then eat in the car across from Brownsea Island while watching the parasailers (this is a year round activity). Or just head back to the Beach- seeing as it’s everywhere.
Including, by now, all over the inside of your car.



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